Over the last ten years, the appeal of online dating has grown. As more people use the internet for retail purchases, ordering food, and streaming movies, it has also become more popular to seek out potential partners online.
Now, there are approximately 44 million online dating site users, and of those, more than 26 million use mobile apps. Finding someone to chat to online and arrange a date with is easier than ever and extremely convenient.
There are certain rules and etiquette to online dating and although many of them are unwritten anyone using one of these sites should be aware of them. If you are going to find any form of success as a man on a dating site, then read this guide here.
Choosing your online dating site
First, you will need to register with a dating site and set up a profile. It is worth considering some tips for choosing the right dating site for you too.
If you are after a casual hook-up then search out appropriate sites, but, if you want to look for dating and a possible long-term relationship then seek out dating sites where the members are like-minded. Someone looking for friendship and dating doesn’t want to be inundated with guys asking them if they are “dtf?” So choose your platform carefully.
There are some comparison sites available and one of them, lovenet-jp.com will let you read about some of the better quality dating sites where you are more likely to meet someone interested in a genuine relationship.
Building your profile
There are millions of profiles across dozens of platforms so you need to stand out a little. Take your time over setting up your profile and imagine how it will come across to other members.
When you sit down to write your description, be honest. It is easy to believe that everyone on internet dating sites is lying but this isn’t the case with most people. Obviously, many people will embellish their profiles a little but full-scale dishonesty won’t get you very far.
Your photos should be recent enough that you don’t look ten years older now and carry an extra 5 kilos around your waist. Using some serious embellishments on your profile may get you lots of dates but the first thing your prospective new partner will think when they meet you is that you lied. Not a great way to start.
Write an interesting profile and play to your strengths. A little humor never hurts but you don’t need to write a stand-up routine, just don’t sound too serious. Also, when it comes time to mention your hobbies don’t talk about what an avid surfer or diver you are when you haven’t been near the ocean since you were ten. Your profile is supposed to attract people who like similar things and you will be caught out in no time.
Talking to other members on a dating site
Clearly, you won’t get anywhere on a dating app or website unless you message someone. This is one of the benefits for shy or quieter people. Dating sites allow people to get to know each other a little so that when they first meet it doesn’t feel like a complete ‘blind date’.
You need to know how to communicate with a woman, or a man, while online dating. Too many guys start a conversation with “hi” and nothing else.
According to netimperative, male Tinder users outnumber females by 9-1. Whether these numbers are completely accurate or not, it has been known for some time that there are more men than women on many of these sites.
This means that women can often receive 5, 10, or more messages every single day. That’s hundreds of messages a month guys, so if you want to stand out, “hi” is not going to cut it.
Too many men play the numbers game and swipe right on everyone and then send out the cast out the same message to multiple women hoping for a bite. Show that you are interested in the person you are writing to by reading their profile and commenting on something that interests you.
Avoid games and tactics
There are plenty of websites advising on how to pick up people on the internet, usually aimed at men looking for women. Tactics include negging, whelming, benching, ghosting, and zombeing, and they are all bad in their own way, but a couple of them should be avoided at all costs.
Negging is where someone starts a conversation with another on a dating site and then gives them a backhanded compliment. Negging is emotional manipulation and if anyone tells you it is a great online dating tactic then they are wrong. It shouldn’t be used in any form let alone when trying to find the love of your life.
Whelming is a newer tactic and not as obviously unpleasant as negging but it is still a form of manipulation. This happens when a conversation is initiated and the guy makes remarks about how they are overwhelmed with responses and they have too many to cope with. This is done in the hope that the other person will agree to meet much quicker than normal and sleep with them too.
If you get rejected take it on the chin
One of the worst aspects of online dating is that some people cannot take rejection and resort to insults and even in some instances stalking.
Many a conversation has escalated into foul language and insults very quickly once the other party has pointed out that they aren’t interested. If someone lets you know they are not interested then wish them well with their online dating and move on.
There are online harassment and stalking laws and anyone breaking these will find themselves not only barred from their dating site but facing legal punishment too.
Try to understand what the other person is after
Reading profiles properly is vital to learning what your potential date is looking for. If it says ‘no hook-ups’ then don’t ask for one. If you are unclear about what they want then ask them when you are messaging. There is nothing wrong with asking what the other person is using the site for, are they looking for friendship, a possible relationship?
Aim high and don’t put yourself down
Some people start internet dating when they come out of a relationship or through feeling lonely. This means that you could be feeling a bit unconfident and not at your best.
Don’t look at profiles and assume everyone is out of your league. Aiming high can actually work well and it will boost your esteem when you get a reply. Remember, everyone on the site is a human being and everyone is looking to meet someone else in some capacity. Therefore, put yourself out there and see what happens.
In the past, there was perhaps some stigma to online dating but as millions of more people have tried it this has disappeared. Even famous people like Calvin Harris and Rita Ora met online, unfortunately, they also broke up online. But, don’t let this put you off.
Millions of couples have met online and even if a long-term relationship wasn’t always forged, many friendships have also blossomed through these apps and sites. Present yourself accurately in your profile, write an interesting opener, don’t play the numbers game or any games for that matter, and you might just find that you’re far more successful than you thought you could be.
Once you arrange a date you might need some more tips, but that’s for another article, good luck.
This content is brought to you by Benjamin Ortiz.
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