An 18-year-old woman created a fake profile to go undercover on Tinder to see what it’s really like for men on dating apps — and she was shocked to discover that it was not as easy as she imagined.
YouTuber Alexander Grace teamed up with his friend Sada for the social experiment, providing her with photos of himself to use for her fake Tinder profile.
Sada admitted that she thought it would be ‘easy peasy’ to get matches with Alex’s pictures, and assumed she’d be lining up dates in no time — but she was discouraged to get fewer matches than she thought, and even more frustrated to be met with radio silence when she would initiate conversation.
Surprise: An 18-year-old woman created a fake profile to go undercover on Tinder to see what it’s really like for men on dating apps
Faux profile: YouTuber Alexander Grace teamed up with his friend Sada for the social experiment and gave her photos of himself to use
When Alex proposed the experiment, he asked Sada to set up a profile as a man seeking women on Tinder.
He gave her three of his own photos, and left her to write the bio information, choose who to swipe on, and send messages.
Sada said that first impression was that it would be easy to get matches because Alex is attractive, but Alex quickly told her that she was going to find more difficulty than she anticipated.
‘I don’t think she realizes how difficult this is gonna be,’ he said.
Sada quickly got to work setting up the profile, explaining to YouTube viewers that she wanted to be ‘very direct and also smooth in the approach.’
She wrote his bio to read: ‘Hi, my name is Alex. I live and work in Lisbon as a psychologist. I’m looking for a nice lady to develop a meaningful relationship with and enjoy the pleasures of life.’
She called the intro ‘simple’ and ‘good’ and got swiping.
First impressions: Sada thought it would be ‘easy peasy’ — and did get quite a few matches when she swiped indiscriminately
Downhill: But when she started being more choosy, her matches went way down
Not loving it: She felt ‘down’ and discouraged by the process, complaining that many women she matched with didn’t respond to her messages
But Sada quickly ran into trouble, and was surprised to only match with five women on her first day. Worse, she found chatting with them difficult, complaining that conversing with one of the women was ‘painful’ because she only gave one-word answers.
‘This is going to be much harder than what I was thinking,’ she admitted. ‘I thought this was going to be easy-peasy. I’m going to text these women and they’re going to want to go on a date with me, and I’m going to match a lot but that didn’t happen.’
Day two was better, with Sada picking up 28 matches. But the problem, she said, is that she wasn’t discriminating in who she swiped on.
‘I am just swiping like a maniac and seeing what I can get,’ she said, but noted that she would be more selective going forward, attempting to ‘think more like a man.’
She picked up 13 matches on day three, but just a single match each on days for and five.
‘I am not motivated, I am not happy with the results,’ she said.
In addition to not getting as many matches as she imagined, she was annoyed that women wouldn’t reply to her messages, or they’d stop replying after one or two responses.
Ghosted: While she seems to have had at least one successful conversation, most of them petered out quickly
‘How can I get these women to go on a date with me if they don’t even reply to me? If we matched, why aren’t we talking?’ she asked.
‘If I compared the experience that a woman has on a dating app and that a man has on a dating app, it’s much different. And it’s weird that I struggled so much. And if I changed my picture to a woman, I don’t struggle at all.
‘This is not very healthy,’ she said. ‘I’m [feeling] down now and it’s not even my damn picture.’
At the end of the experiment, she and Alex talked about how it went.
‘I think it was a failure,’ she said, adding that she had expectations about what would happen and ‘it was like the complete opposite.’
Though she had some success with matches early on, getting them to reply was a ‘nightmare.’
She complained that she struggled and had to ‘lead the conversation.’
But then Alex showed some screengrabs of her chats, which revealed that she started every interaction off with ‘Hi’ and ‘how are you.’
Low effort: However, the video shows that she started most conversations with generic ‘hi’ and ‘how are you’ texts
‘I just feel sorry for guys and stuff. I don’t think this is good for anyone, really,’ she said
‘Maybe I was ignorant,’ she says, explaining that she has rethought what it’s like for guys on dating apps. ‘I just feel sorry for guys and stuff. I don’t think this is good for anyone, really.
She added that she thought it would be especially easy for her because she herself is a woman.
‘I was like, I know what they want to hear, I know what they want. I was so confident,’ she said, but added that now she is ‘so confused.’
Men commenting on the video and on Reddit are less confused.
‘Yeah dating apps are probably the most depressing experience an average guy can have,’ wrote one.
‘She kept pointing out that he is actually attractive and educated… Imagine what “average” guys experience,’ wrote another.
Some pointed out that Sada may have had a particularly hard time getting women to respond because of the low effort she put into her messages and lack of personalization.
While many of the commenters were frustrated that it’s ‘easier’ for women, a few pointed out that there might be good reasons they’re not replying to messages.
‘I’m a a straight dude who has used and often been excessively frustrated with dating apps. Despite that, I completely understand why the women ghost or don’t replay: They’re inundated with messages and options,’ wrote one, explaining that there’s simply not enough time to reply to everyone.