Some people thrive when they’re single. Others, not so much. They get so focused on finding someone to be with that they become desperate.
If you’re one of those unlucky and unhappy people, there might be some habits that keep holding you down.
So, if you’re feeling hopeless about being single, it’s time to ditch them.
1) Dwelling on negativity
When things don’t go as we’d like, we often start dwelling on negativity. We convince ourselves that the situation we’re in is here to stay forever.
In many cases, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Try focusing on the positive aspects of your life instead and maintain an optimistic outlook. Hold your head up high and work on things you can change.
Reading this article is a good step forward. But after you’re done, it’s time for action!
2) Comparing yourself to others
Your journey is unique, so avoid comparing your life or relationship status to others. There’s always someone who looks better than us, has more money, a beautiful and smart partner, etc.
Often, there’s much more going on behind the scenes. You don’t see their desperation, loneliness, sadness, or how much effort they put into what they have now.
Social media tells us only one side of the story – the perfect one.
3) Neglecting self-care
I already mentioned you should work on things that you can change. Prioritize self-care activities that make you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally good.
Exercise regularly, eat healthy food, get into shape, or keep maintaining it. It’s far too easy to neglect all of these things when we’re feeling down.
When you feel great, people can see it. You walk around more enthusiastically and feel more confident approaching people.
And remember, You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
4) Believing that being single is a failure
Some people love being single. For others, it’s their worst nightmare. I’ve always fallen into the second camp. I love being in a relationship, getting to know the person better, and having someone to share my daily life with.
If you’re similar and don’t have a partner, simply embrace your single status as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.
Look at it as a temporary thing that could go away any moment now and enjoy life from the single person’s perspective.
It has many upsides to it as well.
For example, you have more autonomy over your time, choices, and activities. With more time and energy available, you can invest in your friendships and build strong, meaningful connections.
Being single is not a state of failure or inadequacy. It can be a fulfilling and enriching phase of life that allows you to focus on yourself, grow personally, and lay the foundation for future relationships.
5) Being too passive
When you’re in a state of despair, doing anything seems like it isn’t worthwhile. You might just say, “What’s the point?”
Being too passive manifests as a lack of initiative in pursuing potential romantic interests. Instead of actively seeking opportunities to meet new people or engage in social activities, you passively wait for someone to come into your life.
Not putting yourself in situations where you can meet new people inadvertently reduces your chances of forming meaningful connections.
By becoming more proactive, you increase your chances of creating the romantic life you desire and deserve.
6) Settling for less
One of the main reasons people settle for less is the fear of being alone. The idea of being single or facing uncertainties of the dating world can be daunting, leading some to stay in relationships that aren’t fulfilling or compatible.
Just because you can’t seem to find the “right” person doesn’t mean you should settle for a relationship just for the sake of being in one.
I’d rather wait for the right person who aligns with my values.
7) Having unrealistic expectations
On the other side, we have the issue of setting unrealistic expectations from your future partner.
Unrealistic expectations often revolve around the idea of finding a “perfect” partner who has all the desired qualities and characteristics.
Remember that genuine love and connection often involve accepting both the strengths and imperfections of yourself and your partner.
8) Neglecting personal growth
Neglecting personal growth can lead to stagnation in various aspects of your life. If you don’t actively seek personal development opportunities, you’ll find yourself stuck in the same routines and patterns, hampering your overall growth and progress.
Don’t turn into a couch potato. Focus on personal development and pursue your goals and passions.
9) Being closed-minded
Having a closed mind regarding dating can limit your potential dating pool. It can prevent you from embracing new experiences, meeting different types of people, and learning from diverse perspectives.
Most importantly, by dismissing potential partners who don’t fit into a narrow set of predetermined preferences, you overlook individuals who share your core values and have qualities that align with your long-term relationship goals.
Stay open to new experiences, people, and possibilities.
10) Relying solely on online dating
Most people seem to rely on dating apps to find partners. Tinder, and other, more specialized apps have made it easier than ever to connect with others.
But sometimes, you’re better off exploring different avenues to meet new people, such as joining clubs or attending social events.
It’s easier to fully gauge someone’s personality, chemistry, or compatibility in-person than texting them.
11) Chasing after unavailable people
Some people are emotionally, physically, or logistically unavailable for a committed relationship. But that often makes them even more desirable.
You can spare yourself many headaches by staying away from them, especially from married people.
12) Neglecting friendships
Many people drop their friends as soon as they find a partner. All they want to do is spend time with them.
Wanting to spend time with your partner is completely understandable, especially in the honeymoon phase. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hang out with your friends too.
Always nurture your friendships. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or single. They’re an essential part of life.
13) Being overly critical of yourself
Being overly critical of yourself can harm your self-esteem, mental well-being, and overall quality of life.
It often happens when you hold yourself to unattainable standards of perfection or are insecure.
But when you’re too critical of yourself, you also affect your relationships by constantly needing validation or reassurance from others, being excessively self-conscious, or having difficulty accepting compliments or gestures of kindness.
The fix is easy. Adopt self-compassion and practice self-love.
14) Being a people-pleaser
People-pleasers often have an intense fear of rejection. This fear holds you back when expressing your authentic self, sharing your true feelings, or taking risks in dating.
Being overly focused on pleasing others can also cause you to compromise your own values and priorities in dating.
You prioritize the desires and expectations of your partner or potential partners over your own, leading to a lack of authenticity and fulfillment in relationships.
Set some boundaries and learn to prioritize your needs.
15) Overanalyzing every interaction
Some people just have the need to overthink and overanalyze their interactions with others.
Constantly dissecting and overthinking conversations can create a sense of unease, self-doubt, and anticipation of negative outcomes.
It also leads to misconstruing the intentions or meanings behind others’ words or actions.
Recognize the tendency to overanalyze and bring awareness to the thoughts and emotions that surface during these moments. Avoid overthinking and trust that things will naturally fall into place.
Plus, practice mindfulness to stay present in the moment and fully engage in conversations without excessive analysis.
16) Feeling desperate
I get the desire to be in a romantic relationship. It’s such a strong feeling for some of us that overshadows all other emotions.
It’s often accompanied by feelings of loneliness, insecurity, and a fear of being alone. When feeling desperate, you start making impulsive decisions or overlooking red flags in potential partners.
For that reason, desperation can cloud judgment and lead to entering into relationships that aren’t healthy or compatible.
When you’re feeling desperate, self-care and self-fulfillment take a backseat as your focus shifts solely to finding a relationship.
In this state, many lonely people fall for romance scams and end up losing thousands of dollars in the process, making things even worse for them.
Let go of desperation and focus on building a fulfilling life for yourself. That way, when someone worthwhile comes knocking, you’ll be the best version of yourself and ready to start a new life together.
If it doesn’t happen, you’ll still be living your best life, nonetheless.