When you become parents, your kids become your whole world. It changes your life completely. For mothers, your tote bag that once contained lipsticks is now loaded with baby diapers. Your day starts with your children and ends with them. Juggling between two worlds- your home and work can be very exhausting. For parents, their kids are always there in the back of their minds, especially when your kid is at a tender age.
Your children’s additional responsibility, such as bathing them, cooking for them, taking them to daycares or schools, might get taxing. However, what adds up to this is the worry that parents keep having for their children. They get so protective that even a small cough scares them. Parents are always there for their kids. It is their parent’s hand that kids may hold when they first start walking. Their first bike ride may also be done in the presence of their parents. Which probably is why you still have that protective nature for your child.
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Initially, when your child is small, they definitely need help. However, once they can manage things by themselves, you might want to leave them in their own space. That is what lazy parenting is all about. Helping your child through milestones in life but not always being there. That way, kids get independent. If you are always there for your child, imagine how helpless they will feel when you are not around. Say you urgently need to get out of town and your seven-year-old has school. It can be quite challenging for your child to follow her routine because, until now, she always had her parents do it for her.
Carolyn Wagner, a maternal mental health therapist at the Wilmette Counseling Center, said in an article on Motherly, “Depending on their age, they may begin to internalize a belief that they are incapable—if mom always rushes in to help, it must be because she knows I can’t do it. Lazy parenting is about intentionally providing your child with opportunities to develop a sense of self-efficacy, which in turn will bolster confidence, independence, and responsibility.”
Thus, lazy parenting means being for your child whenever they need you but letting them have their own experiences to learn from—giving them space to think for themselves and making them independent. Now that you know what lazy parenting is, here are the major benefits of the concept.
It Gives You Time For Yourself
When you do not constantly worry about your child, and know that they are in their safe place, you get time for yourself. When was the last time you went to a spa to relax or did anything that you like? How many social plans did you cancel because your child needed you? Well, sometimes, you need to realize that your child might not need you; it is you who are not ready to leave them alone. Maybe it is time for you to have faith in your children, trust your parenting, and go for that outing that you have been waiting to go to for months.
It Builds a Relationship Of Trust
Believing someone is a two-way street. Especially when it comes to your children, they will know that you are leaving them alone not because you have to, but because you have faith in them that they will complete that homework you asked them to do. This will subconsciously run in their head, and they would refrain from doing anything that might let you down. Even if they do something wrong, they may feel guilty about their actions and would ensure not to repeat them. So, without actually punishing them, you are teaching them the difference between right and wrong. This also will help them to differentiate between right or wrong decisions and actions.
It Shapes Your Child’s Personality
Lazy parenting is a great way to inculcate many positive qualities in your child. It enables them to make decisions for themselves. If they make wrong decisions, they will learn from it. As the saying goes, “experience is the best teacher.” Since they can make their own decisions, it will also develop their problem-solving skills. When your child has the liberty to make some decisions on their own, it boosts their confidence. They start believing in themselves. Over time, they will have their own opinions and individuality, which also cultivate leadership qualities. A little independence and freedom result in gaining multiple attributes.
There is no course for parenting. It usually grows from experience. For kids, there may be times when their parents do something that they might not like. A mistake from your end can be a bad experience for your child. A way in which this helps is that your children will remember never to repeat the same mistake when they become parents. That’s how you might have become good at parenting through some of your past experiences. Lazy parenting is one such concept that helps you and your child in multiple aspects. It ensures the independent growth of your child, while you nurture and pamper them.
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Source: Best Care Parenting, Mother.ly, Me Them And Others
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