Michelle Obama has offered up her advice to those who might be dating in 2020, from her experience of being in a strong, long-term marriage.
The Former First Lady recalled having a different opinion to Barack on marriage; she always wanted to, whereas he had “a different view” due to his parents’ divorce and grandparents’ “rocky marriage”.
“A man’s inclination to wait and to kind of go out there and search and get himself ready, I think is a good instinct that more young women should think about,” Obama said on The Michelle Obama Podcast, with guest Conan O’Brien.
She went on to explain how looking for a partner is similar to assembling a basketball team.
“We’d have better marriages,” Obama proposed, adding, “because if you’re looking at a team, the people you want to win with, then number one you want everybody on your team to be strong, right? You don’t want any weak links, you don’t want somebody that you can dominate, you don’t want somebody who’s kind of a loser. Also, if you’re on a team, you’ve got to be able to do everything, especially in basketball, it’s like, you would never pick somebody that says, ‘I only dribble. I don’t shoot, I don’t defend, I just dribble.’”
Obama continued: “You want LeBron [James]. You don’t want the guy, third row on the bench, who didn’t make the team, but we often don’t think about that.” She continued, “What you’re supposed to say, is, ‘I have married LeBron. My version of LeBron.’”
She went on to explain if you do marry LeBron, you may still experience losing streaks.
“There were times that I wanted to push Barack out of the window. And I say that, because it’s like you’ve got to know the feelings will be intense. But that doesn’t mean you quit,” she said.
“Barack and I have been broken off and on, throughout our marriage, but we have a very strong marriage. And if I had given up on it, if I had walked away from it, in those tough times, then I would’ve missed all the beauty that was there as well.”
Obama, who believes marriage is built on commitment and hard work, advises to step away from dating apps.
“Do you want to build something with someone? There’s no magic way to make that happen, except getting the basics of finding somebody, being honest about wanting to be with them, to date them seriously, to plan on making a commitment, to date them, seeing where it goes, and then making it happen,” Obama explained. “You can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship.”
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