As soon as my profile went live I got quite a lot of views but this only translated into about 15 actual messages. They all said they found my profile `refreshing’ and that it was a relief that I’d stated my political views so firmly in my profile. Politics is generally a no-no in dating profiles, as I I know it can be divisive, but I believe you must be honest and not waste your time or that of others. I gritted my teeth and responded to the three who had written sensible messages and who had reasonable profile pictures.
The first was a pro-Brexit retired lecturer who wrote witty messages and was keen to speak on the phone. I admired his approach as so many men appear to want a virtual girlfriend and never to meet up. I was alarmed when he suggested a morning date but even more put off when I met him and found he had lied about his height. We sat on a bench and talked, and although we had a lot in common including our political views, there was no spark. The next day he wrote a polite text to say while there was no chemistry he enjoyed our chat and let’s stay in touch, which indeed we have done.
The second had a wide smile and wrote beautifully, but put me off by talking about ‘finding your soul mate’. I don’t ‘do’ soulmates – I’m sure that there are thousands of people that one can connect with. He was carrying on as if it was the search for the holy grail. Furthermore, though I had specified in my profile ‘no lockdown bedwetters’ he suggested we have a `video chat’ as due to `government restrictions’ we wouldn’t be able to meet up for some time. To clarify, this was in July, when restrictions had pretty much disappeared. Besides, I don’t like video chats as it sometimes feels as if the men are buying a horse, and want to check your teeth and fetlocks.
At 69, the third was a little older than my preferred age but I am nothing if not flexible and, as he seemed keen, I decided to kill two birds with one stone and meet up with him, as he lived near a house I wanted to view. I must also confess my other motive for meeting him was that he ran a successful business anticipating world trends and I wanted his view on the economy, and if I should buy a house now or wait six months. He wasn’t terribly helpful on that and I knew we weren’t compatible when he said, “I can think of nothing sexier than spending all day cooking a meal with your partner and all night eating”. I haven’t cooked since 1989 so this idea absolutely revolted me. He also had a tandem he wanted to share. Not with me, I had to point out.
Many men like to appear adventurous in their profiles by stating that they go on 20-mile bike rides every day and long to climb Everest or camp in the foothills of the Himalayas. None of them say, ‘I really like staying in and watching a bit of TV and having a bath and going to bed with a book’, which constitutes my ideal evening.
Another that didn’t get off the ground was a guy who was a trustee for a wildlife charity. I have a dog charity so this sounded right up my street but, instead of suggesting we meet up, he kept writing to tell me how many kilometres he had run and swam that day, so that was no good, not least because I would have preferred the distances in miles.
I had a stilted but pleasant chat with a handsome blond businessman but who didn’t want a face-to-face date, then another who said he was 69 but was actually 71. He enjoyed showing me gory pictures of his knee replacement operation – perhaps he was looking for a carer?
And on it goes… So I might give Toby Young’s site a go to find my burly Brexiteer who wants to meet in person, who doesn’t lie about his height or age, who doesn’t want me to cook or cycle, and who uses Imperial measurements. As I said, I’m not picky.
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