Another discovery I made was that the man I first mentioned, the profile I clicked with so well but never met, was in fact him. Right there in front of me on the screen were the conversations he and I had using that fake profile. The months of talking, the personal things I had shared, the connection I had built with this stranger was all a lie!
I felt so physically sick seeing all of this. I do look back now and remember there being times where my ex-partner had said things, and thinking to myself at the time that I couldn’t remember telling him those things.
After my discovery, I waited until the next morning and confronted him about what I saw. My main question was simply, why?
He said he never got many likes or matches as himself on online dating sites, so one day created a fake account with an attractive person’s photos. He said it made him feel good to log on and see that he had so many messages waiting for him. He confirmed that he had been doing this for a few years before meeting me, and had continued to do so since I had met him, creating more profiles than he could remember in that time.
Listen: At 30, Sophia Cachia turned her ‘perfect’ life upside down. Post continues after audio.
Part of me was in shock, and I didn’t want to experience another break up. Selling our home and ending things all seemed too much for me. So I agreed to give him another chance.
Months went by and I thought things had changed, but it turned out he had only got better at hiding his obsession. I came home one night and heard him on the phone in the bedroom, and walked in on him having phone sex with another woman. I grabbed the phone off him and demanded this woman tell me who she was. It turned out she thought he was a man living close to her in another state and they had been speaking for months. He had fooled her too.
After that encounter I had the strength to leave him. I spent almost 18 months with this man, continuously on edge and paranoid after that first night of looking through his phone. He never reached out for professional help and he never stopped creating these profiles. Two years after leaving him, I have been contacted by several accounts that I believed to be him.
I even went to the police about this matter, but without hard proof and with the information that anyone can create a profile on a public computer, it would be hard to actually confirm that it was him.
I have reached out to his current partner to warn her, but only had her tell me I was full of lies and that I was the crazy one!
This story, my story, does seem too crazy to be true – but it is. Catfishing is real, and more women need to be made aware.
The author of this post is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons. A stock image has been used.
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