Login

Register

Login

Register

#parent | #kids | Grandparents, it’s a new day in baby care | #parenting | #parenting | #kids


Brace yourself. Baby and child care aren’t what they used to be.

Newly minted grandparents may be surprised at how much has changed from when their children were babies. Expect to learn a new set of safety protocols, to wrangle an array of unfamiliar gadgets and to follow feeding and sleeping recommendations that don’t jibe with what your pediatrician advised 30 years ago.

With so much to learn, some hospitals are adding classes to help new grandparents adjust.

“We want to teach grandparents what to expect because they are a big source of support for families with newborns,” says Jill Johnson, who teaches a grandparenting class along with childbirth and baby care classes at Texas Health Dallas. “And much has changed from when grandparents were young parents themselves.”

New safety rules

Most grandparents already know that car seats are a must. But many don’t know how the rules have changed. Infants go in the back seat, never in the front. Car seats are rear-facing until babies are at least age 2; toddlers up to 4 go in a forward-facing seat. Kids ages 4-8 or under 4 feet, 9 inches tall, must sit in a booster seat. By law, children aren’t allowed to sit in the front seat until age 13.

Car seats have gotten complicated; Johnson recommends having one installed by a trained technician. Some suburban fire departments and state vehicle inspection sites can assist, too. If the vehicle is involved in an accident, even a minor fender bender, you’ll need to replace the car seat.

Carmen Lozoya pours a snack for granddaughter Esme Bueno Galindo, 3, during an overnight stay at Lozoya’s Fort Worth home.(Tom Fox / Staff Photographer)

Carmen Lozoya had to learn all of this now that she takes care of her 3-year-old granddaughter in her Fort Worth home each weekend. She purchased a car seat for her own vehicle.

“Things are very different from when mine were little,” Lozoya says. “I follow my daughter’s lead. She knows the current thinking.”

Sleep safety has changed, too. For decades, parents put their newborns to sleep on their tummies. Then in 1994, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development launched its “Back to Sleep” campaign. Now parents put the babies to bed on their backs.

“The data suggests that babies are safer from sudden infant death syndrome, or SIDS, when they sleep on their backs,” says Johnson, a registered nurse. SIDS deaths are down about 50 percent since 1994.

Similarly, new grandparents may be taken aback by the stark state of today’s cribs. They’re empty: no bumper pads, no toys and no loose blankets. All are potential suffocation hazards. Instead, today’s parents are encouraged to swaddle babies, especially newborns, with special blankets designed for the purpose.

High-tech babies

Gwen and Curtis Moore of Dallas joke that their 11-month-old grandson’s first word won’t be “mommy” or “daddy” —it’ll be “Alexa.” Like many new grandparents, the Moores marvel at the array of gadgets their daughter uses: a bottle warmer, bottle drying rack, baby wipe warmer, Diaper Genie, baby monitor and childproofing gadgets for every knob, nook and cranny in the house.

Some toys have gone high-tech, too . Gwen Moore remembers the “jolly jumper,” a simple bungee-like sling, hung on a doorframe, that kept her two babies occupied when she was a young mom.

“Some of the toys we put our kids in would apparently kill or maim them,” she says wryly. Now some childcare experts warn against those jumpers — babies can knock their heads against doorways or injure their necks. Ditto for walkers; They’re falling hazards. Instead, her grandson has a safer self-contained jumper, festooned with colorful toys, music and lights.

“It’s like a small carnival,” she says.

Some new gadgets will give grandparents sticker shock: $1,000 or more for high-end strollers or $1,200 for “smart” self-rocking bassinets. Many new parents can find rental or pre-owned options, however.

Breast: still best

Boomer moms were encouraged to breastfeed their babies for the first year, and that advice holds. Many of today’s moms are breast-pumping pros. Insurance covers the cost of breast pumps; hospitals lend them to new moms. There’s even a wearable model that moms can put under their clothes, pumping as they go about their daily routine.

Gwen Moore, who nursed her two babies for 15 months, was initially dismayed that her daughter “pumps and dumps” — expressing breast milk and feeding the baby mostly through a bottle. She wonders whether her grandson gets the same bonding benefits, but also sees the pluses.

“This way, everybody gets to feed him,” she says.

Constance Paris, with her grandchildren, listened to her daughter-in-law on the reasons behind newer child care practices that first seemed odd to her.
Constance Paris, with her grandchildren, listened to her daughter-in-law on the reasons behind newer child care practices that first seemed odd to her.(Constance Paris)

Pediatricians once advised parents to give babies small amounts of water via a bottle; that’s out now, as Constance Paris learned. Her daughter-in-law gently corrected her after she gave her then 3-month-old granddaughter a bit of water.

“That almost drove me crazy,” Paris says. “But my daughter-in-law explained that [babies] get enough liquid with breast milk or formula.”

Spoon-feeding babies pureed peas from a jar may become a thing of the past. Baby food comes in pouches instead of jars. And some millennial parents are opting for “baby-led weaning” – skipping the puree entirely and transitioning straight to soft finger foods around 6 months.

Other recent recommendations: no teething necklaces or beads and no teething gels containing benzocaine. And if you’re tempted to spoil your grandbaby with TV time and treats, expect resistance. Today’s parents worry more about screen time and sugar. Although many boomer parents limited their children’s TV time, recent research suggests that too much of any kind of screen time — on tablets, computers, cellphones and video games as well as TV — may negatively affect the development of young brains. And sugar, once considered a mostly benign source of empty calories, is now blamed for diabetes, obesity, heart and liver disease, research says.

New parents have new advice sources, too. Remember the boomer bible What to Expect When You’re Expecting? It’s not resonating with millennial parents (“Not fact-based and too judge-y,” says Kristin Moore, the Moores’ daughter.) Today’s parents rely heavily on the internet — blogs, apps, Instagram and Facebook groups.

Hold your tongue

These new baby care realities can create confusion and even conflict at a time when the relationship between new grandparents and their adult children — the new parents —is in flux.

“There’s a major shift in responsibility and titles that happens when a new baby is born,” says Amanpreet Randazzo, a psychologist in Southlake. “Problems can arise when grandparents interfere, intrude or undercut what the parents are saying.”

That’s why Paris respects her daughter-in-law’s position as primary decision-maker on baby care.

“I try to put myself in her position,” she says. “Everybody likes to give advice. It’s easier to give than to take. I’ve made it a point not to say, ‘You should do it this way.’”

Dr. Chevelle Brudey, a physician and mother of two, says that even if parenting methods have changed, the value of the grandparent bond has not.
Dr. Chevelle Brudey, a physician and mother of two, says that even if parenting methods have changed, the value of the grandparent bond has not.(Chevelle Brudey)

Even though grandparents’ information may be outdated, their wisdom is still valuable, says Dr. Chevelle Brudey, a Dallas physician with two children, ages 4 and 1. When new parents get hung up on perfection, grandparents and older friends can balance that with a more compassionate, long-term perspective.

“As modern working moms, we tend to overload ourselves,” she says. She recalled fretting over weaning her babies with an elderly friend, in her 90s, who had raised eight kids. “She told me, ‘You have to do what works for you and for the whole family.’”

If your offspring raise their kids differently than you did, try not to view that as criticism of your choices or as signs that the new parent is doing a bad job, Randazzo says.

She recalled one client, a grandmother, who bristled because her children don’t follow the same house rules she upheld. She wanted to enforce different rules when the grandchildren came to visit. “Isn’t it my house, my rules?’” she asked.

Yes and no, Randazzo says. A grandparent who plies the child with too many sugary sweets could harm the child’s health. But it’s fair for a grandparent in their own home to insist, for example, that the grandkids eat at the dinner table, even if they eat in front of the TV at home.

“Try to be respectful,” she says. “Instead of telling the parent, ‘Your rules are bad,’ say something like, ‘I think it’s important for them to have this experience, too.’”

Even with mixed feelings about their children’s childrearing choices, many grandparents report feeling relieved they don’t make the decisions. They relish their new roles, with fewer responsibilities and more freedom to just enjoy the little ones. And while childrearing practices may change from one generation to another, the value of loving grandparents never does.

Advises Paris: “You can just be there for your grown children. Offer your assistance but don’t force it. They will figure it out.”



Source link

Leave a Reply

Shqip Shqip አማርኛ አማርኛ العربية العربية English English Français Français Deutsch Deutsch Português Português Русский Русский Español Español

National Cyber Security Consulting App

 https://apps.apple.com/us/app/id1521390354

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=nationalcybersecuritycom.wpapp


Ads

NATIONAL CYBER SECURITY RADIO

Ads

ALEXA “OPEN NATIONAL CYBER SECURITY RADIO”

National Cyber Security Radio (Podcast) is now available for Alexa.  If you don't have an Alexa device, you can download the Alexa App for free for Google and Apple devices.   

nationalcybersecurity.com

FREE
VIEW