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RAW HUMOUR! Ugly tycoon’s gal rewards Mr. Hyena with twins | #whatsapp | #lovescams | #phonescams | #datingscams | #love | #relationships | #scams | #pof | #match.com | #dating


Thanks to my delicious Wire, I’m to inherit a business empire that includes buildings, two farms and  fuel stations in Busoga, Bugisu and Buganda– courtesy of my baby momma’s once best friend Edith. Guys, if your woman’s bestie visits you repeatedly, especially at odd hours, chew her, because that’s what brings her. It took me 15 years to understand it.

During my days in Namasuba, I had a child with a sexy wild card called Suzan.
Suzan was always fighting her competitors. In the morning she would beat a chic she saw flirting with me and in the afternoon fight one she would have been told I’m chewing at night.
Every now and then, Edith, Suzan’s bestie, would intervene on Suzan’s behalf. If it wasn’t Edith, Suzan would’ve reported me to her barren senga. “He is the pregnancy specialist of the area.” Suzan once told her barren Senga. She told her senga how I had like one hundred children from several belles.
Suzan’s senga approached me for her own and I gave her a set of twins, shattering the friendship, trust and respect Suzan had for her. Suzan cut off communication with me and vowed never to let me see her two daughters.

However, despite Suzan cutting off all communication with me, Edith kept visiting me. I thought Suzan was sending her to spy on me and so I kept my fingers crossed. Kumbe, Edith was coming for her love dose. Out of the blue, Edith would come clean my place, wash my clothes and  cook for me. I thought she was just being friendly. Whenever I cried of poverty, Edith would give me a dime. At times, I wanted to beg her, but part of me feared she would refuse. She knew I was a player. After being close to me for about two years and not getting the desired results, Edith stopped coming to my place.

Soon after, she married some guy but, it didn’t work out, so she returned to her  parents’ business where she had been working before. Come social media, we became friends and did all things social media friends do. But five years ago, Edith posted a photo on which I commented “If wishes were true” on seeing it, Edith asked what would happen and I said “Play Adam and Eve” In response, Edith was like “Hehehe” then asked “Since when?” I replied “Since I first laid my eyes on you.” Edith replied with “Hehehe……very funny.” She then in-boxed that “Nga you didn’t do anything to me when I used to come to your place?”

I replied that I feared she would report me to Suzan. “Report what……that I spent the night at your ex’s place with him?” She asked, before adding “I thought you’re a smart guy”. I replied telling Edith of how I was the dumbest guy on earth and asked if that opportunity was still available. “Maybe!” She answered. On hearing that, my enzymes boiled with joy. On asking what I had to do, Edith replied “Go for a blood test.  wasn’t in love with Edith; all I wanted was to chew a loaded belle. To the blood test request, I asked “When and where?” Edith replied “Thursday”. It was a Tuesday, so just one day in between. Come Wednesday evening, I wrote Edith a message asking if the deal was still on. “Unless you have other plans or chickened out,” was Edith’s reponse. Next day we linked up at 10:00Am and went  to a clinic. As we waited for results, Edith asked if I just wanted to chew and take off. I  lied to her that I wanted her to produce me five children. “Hyena ain’t all the children you have enough?” Edith asked. “I want a million children,” I replied.

When the results returned, Edith joked that my results were wrong. “Doctor, this guy has SIDA…..the machine lied.” Edith said. The doctor advised us to abstain until after another test three months later or use antivirus.

From the clinic, I asked Edith “What next?” She replied “I will be free from Friday evening to Monday morning”. Despite Friday being the following day, it was like a year. After a long wait, it was finally Friday evening. There was no way I was to tamper with Edith on an empty head, so during lunch, I swallowed a stamina booster. We met at a classy hotel in Munyonyo.  Once in the comfort of our suit, I told Edith I didn’t know how to go about it.  “What do you mean?” Edith wondered and I answered; “I don’t want to do anything that may annoy or turn you off.” Edith told me  not to worry, because she was a woman like any other I had conquered. “You can start by giving me a massage,” She suggested. I thus ordered her to strip.  She handed me a bottle of body oil and I started massaging her.

I poured oil all over her back then started massaging her shoulders, neck area before going for the spine. “Ummmmmm……..oooooh!” Edith breathed heavily. After like five minutes, Edith started saying “Harder…” So I gave her the hard one. I massaged her big booty like I was spanking it. On looking between Edith’s thighs, cream was flowing freely. I was almost exploding; the Wire  had become rock hard. Next was helping Edith lie face up so that I would massage that area too. While massaging her big boobies I said: “The children you will produce me will not starve…” She replied telling me of how she was barren.

“We shall see about that,” I answered.
I stopped beating around the bush and went for my favorite part, her  Garden of Eden! “Wow……as it’s huge!” I silently exclaimed. Not only were the walls of Jerusalem big, but they were high too. However, I spent half of the time on the killer switch, which is between the gates of the garden. Edith was whimpering  like I was drilling her with a Hulk like Wire. “Yes…..harder….faster” she moaned as she raised her waist area up.

“All people on earth may die but you should live forever…………I will give you my sisters and friends as well, sweetest man” Edith screamed.
Finally, Edith wrapped her legs around me, locked and squeezed me so hard like she wanted to crush me. “Dadddieee……….dadddieee” she hissed repeatedly for about a minute and a half; she was vibrating like an earthquake was going through her body. Edith pulled me on top of her and locked our lips for our very first kiss.  We spent like thirty minutes cuddling after which, I did what I do best. Edith turned out to be one of the most tasteless belles I’ve ever chewed. It’s brothers like Penge-Penge that know what I went through, but I chewed her even on Saturday and Sunday. By Sunday evening, Edith had told me like a hundred times of how I was the sweetest man on earth.  Next weekend, we met and did the same thing. On our third weekend, Edith told me she had missed her periods. “I was supposed to flow two days ago, but nothing has come of yet…….so, If I flow while here, don’t get surprised.” She said,
“Oooooh God, I hope she is preggie” I prayed silently. Because, if she was, I was to chew her dime freely. Two months later, a doctor confirmed Edith’s being pregnant. She posted on social media prompting her friends to ask who the sharp shooter was.

The following month, I was made to visit her parents. Our affair shifted from the lodges to Edith’s crib. A lot of haters started saying she had married me but I didn’t care because I knew what I was after. Nine months later, a baby girl was born. “If you had done your duties many years ago when I used to come to your place, this child would be so grown” Edith once joked.
Six months after Edith’s first birth, I broke her defences and again shot a baby boy. But before the baby boy could even walk, Edith played me Sheebah’s ‘Nkwatako’ song, which resulted into a serious boning session  and I ballooned her again and she gave birth to a set of twins. Unless my father-in-law produces children now, which is highly unlikely; I am set to inherit all that he worked hard for. However, even if I don’t inherit Edith’s wealth for reasons beyond my control, I have several other belles whose parents’ wealth I’m set to inherit. Like the Okoths; it’s only me  who has children with Mzee Okoth’s two daughters. How that happened is a tale for another time.
Till then, I remain yours truly, Mr. Hyena.


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