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Are you 100% satisfied with your sex life as it is?
For most men, the answer is a resounding “No, not really.”
A lot of guys tend to internalize this issue — they think that the reason they aren’t satisfied with their sex life has to do with them:
- “I’m just not that attractive to enough women…”
- “I’m not ‘big enough’ down there…”
- “Sex just isn’t one of my priorities right now…”
And so on.
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But what if the reason you aren’t satisfied with your sex life has less to do with you… and more to do with an outside factor?
According to this new study, that’s exactly the case. And here’s why:
Does Stress Really Affect Your Sex Life That Much?
Any woman who has been with her man in the car when he gets lost will tell you that his level of appeal goes dramatically up or down depending on how he handles the situation.
And according to this new study, there’s a scientific explanation behind it too.
The study found that female rats were less attracted to male rats who were “submissive” as a result of childhood stress — the female rats could sense it somehow.
However, if a male rat had experienced childhood stress, but acted dominant toward the female rat, then the female rat found him more attractive. So she’d be more likely to pick that male rat, even over another rat who acted “normal” but didn’t experience any childhood stress.
What exactly does this mean?
While it’s true that you and I aren’t rats, there is a very clear link between stress and your sex life. And it explains why 95% of men probably aren’t living their “ideal” sex life.
So if you’re feeling stressed, and aren’t sure how to overcome it, what can you do?
It Doesn’t End There…
The key is to appear calm, cool, and collected… even if you aren’t feeling that way on the inside.
Whether for a hookup or for a relationship, most women will say that a confident man who can handle the pressure is way more worthy of her attention.
You may be really pissed off that a waiter brought you the wrong order, or that your phone service is crap…
You may want to rant about it or yell at a manager…
Just know that when you do that, you risk losing your sex appeal.
You can and should get good service. But be assertive, not a jerk.
An assertive man is sexy as hell.
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If you had some serious stressors in your childhood, do whatever you need to do to deal with them and move on. An unresolved past will rear
Whether it’s therapy or meditation, there are a lot of ways to handle your stress without exploding in front of a woman.
Plus, stress also makes you look older — and not in a good way.
The stress hormone, cortisol, can actually stunt muscle and bone growth and make you fatter. These characteristics will definitely make a person less physically attractive.
When you can overcome your stresses, you have much better odds of being with a good woman. When you demonstrate that you can remain unstressed even under pressure, your odds increase even more.
So with that in mind, here are three quick and easy ways to reduce your stress (and don’t worry — I’m not about to suggest you take a yoga class):
1) Develop a “Mantra”
It sounds corny, but one of the easiest ways to instantly de-stress is to close your eyes and repeat a familiar phrase that calms you down.
Find something that works for you.
Here are a few popular ones:
- “I am cool, calm, and collected”…
- “Today, I can handle any situation that comes my way”…
- “I am The Man”…
You might feel silly repeating these things out loud, but it works wonders for a lot of guys.
Because repetition is one of the easiest ways to “level out” and stay calm, what you say doesn’t matter as much as the fact that you’re saying the same thing over and over.
So find a sentence that speaks to you, and repeat it 10 times each morning. Over time, this will help reduce your stress.
2) Recognize What You Can & Cannot Change in a Situation
Is the loud music in the bar stressing you out?
Think about your options:
Sure, you could yell about it or get drunk to feel calmer…
Or you could find a bar with a more reasonable noise level.
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Choose to remove yourself from situations that stress you out, and you’ll naturally become more attractive to women.
Sometimes, it really is that simple.
3) Keep Your Work Life & Your Home Life Separate
For a lot of men, work is one of the biggest stressors. So if your job is stressing you out, let it go as soon as you leave the office (or wherever your workplace might be).
And if you work at home, try working somewhere else, like a cafe or a community workspace — this will help you truly relax when you’re at home and off the clock.
It’s not easy, and it will take practice, but eventually you’ll appreciate the free time you do have, and you’ll be less stressed.
Here’s the truth: Women want a man to be able to easily adapt to a stressful situation.
She needs to know that when she starts crying about a bad day at work, or if she’s miserable because she can’t fit into her favorite pair of jeans, that you will remain reassuring and confident.
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When the car won’t start…
The internet crashes…
Your dog gets sick…
Whatever — you are her rock.
Which brings me to my personal favorite way to de-stress, & make sure that the sex you do have is freaking amazing…
4) Eat The “Sex Snack” for Peak Performance in the Bedroom
When my husband is feeling really stressed… and I want to make him feel better (& treat him to a night of mind-blowing sex)…
I feed him a little something I like to call the “sex snack.”
I first learned about it during some “private internet time” one night (lol)… I was googling my favorite pornstar, Dave Cummings… when I came across this video he did.
Dave’s an older guy… but he refuses to take any weird “prescriptions” or sketchy “drugs” before sex… so he’s come to rely on this “sex snack” as a way to get hard, & stay hard… sometimes for hours at a time.
I’ll admit my husband gave me a preeeetty funny look the first time I made it for him… though a few hours later… when he turned to me in bed, and asked, “Ready for round three, baby?”…
I knew the “sex snack” had worked its magic. ? You can get the recipe here–you’re gonna love it:
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[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on June 19, 2019.]