RALEIGH, N.C. — Do you know what your teen is doing online? Teen mental health experts say it’s a question every parents should be asking.
With summer right around the bend, teens are likely to rack up more screen time than they do when they’re in school.
Teens spend an average of five hours a day on social media platforms, according to the American Psychological Association.
That’s just over a full day and a half each week. On top of that, 41% of teens with the highest social media use say their mental health is very poor, according to the same source.
Often, social media use can alter dopamine pathways and reward processing, according to an article posted by the National Library of Medicine.
Although users can feel a sense of addiction to social media, it can be harmful. Especially to a younger audience still developing who they are.
A group of teens looking at their phones. (Spectrum News 1)
“In a period of our development where we’re already comparing ourselves, where we’re already trying to navigate our identity and feelings of criticism feel so intense,” Shantel Sullivan said. “Social media just really amplifies all of that. So it’s leading to increased comparison, feelings of exclusion.”
Sullivan is a licensed clinical social worker and Chief Executive Officer at Bright Path Behavioral Health, a teen and adolescent mental health treatment center. She says the connection between social media and mental health in adolescence stays pretty consistent throughout the year.
“We may see some upticks when teens are at home for longer periods of time, like in the summertime when they have less structured time,” Sullivan said.
Absence from peers might increase social media use for students to remain informed and connected with friends, she explained. This can lead to a child comparing themselves to one another or relying on the interactions of the post for validation. If a post is not perceived the way they want, it could lead to negative thoughts.
“They might not be getting the thumbs up or the likes or the amount of impressions on what they’ve been posting. And so that can feel like that can even feel isolating. Driving disconnection like, ‘I don’t belong,’ or, ‘I don’t fit in,’” Sullivan said.
Despite the negative feelings from social media, Sullivan said it’s not as easy as you might think to just turn off the phone since this is their way to communicate with one another.
“Many teens also feel trapped because of the social world (that) exists online. And so even when we’re telling them to disconnect, they might want to disconnect, but that feels really risky to them. So while we think we’re playing tug of war with our teen to maybe shut down the technology, they might be playing tug of war with themselves,” Sullivan said.
Social media now brings dialogue to the screen instead of in person. Something Sullivan sees firsthand as a mom and can be hard to understand if parents did not grow up with the outlets.
“I see all the kids in the gym making their TikTok dances, and so it is just a part of how they socialize. Instead of like hanging out and having a conversation there in front of the screen, either performing or sharing or gaming,” Sullivan said. “It’s just part of their regular social engagement.”
Many states and even countries around the world have been fighting to restrict social media access for minors. In North Carolina, a bill to prohibit the creation of social media platforms for kids under 14 years of age has passed the House and is waiting to be voted on in the Senate.
Sullivan encourages parents to talk to their kids about social media through curiosity and in a non-judgmental way.
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“I can be like, ‘Oh, what’s like what’s happening in that space?’” Or like, ‘What’s so funny about it?’…Oftentimes they’re open to like, teaching you.” Sullivan said.
Sullivan said the goal is to make teens feel a sense of emotional safety during conversations around social media and to check in with teens using questions like, “How is social media making you feel today?” Or ‘what feels stressful right now?’
Signs to look for if an adolescent is struggling are isolation, withdrawn increased anxiety, avoidance or change in their sleep. And she says, most importantly, to listen to your teen.
“It might even be in quiet passing and to really acknowledge that instead, you might hear them say like, ‘Nobody likes me’,…’I can’t do this anymore.’ And whether that means keep up with their social group or keep up emotionally, or just want to stay, being right, those are really big feelings,” she said.
She figured that the more parents talk with their kids, the more the kids will talk about their feelings. Many parents want to have a degree of social media surveillance over the child and can use of social media monitoring apps like Bark.
“As parents download and use apps to help inform us if there’s any trends that are teen is engaging in or over exposing themselves to as far as social media content, or even like if we are starting to see they’re receiving texts or requests that are harmful or hurtful,” Sullivan said.
