Children’s use of artificial intelligence and social media has become common. According to the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on Social Media and Youth Mental Health, children and adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of mental health problems
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On my son’s last day of Jiu Jitsu summer camp, he looked me in the eyes with slumped shoulders and asked if he could bring his iPad to camp because “every child brings their tablets.” In fact, he “was the only one who didn’t bring a device and there’s no one to play with between sessions.”
As a young mom of three little ones, this was heartbreaking and also alarming to hear.
Heartbreaking, because childhood has morphed into hybrid play, with the default activity for a large share of kids now passive consumption on a tablet or phone, often taking away face-to-face negotiation and the boredom that forces imagination. Alarming, because with kids of various ages online, with no parental oversight, children can expose other campers to harmful content.
No longer are our kids confined to the four walls of the camp, home or school. Once upon a time, predators and bad actors lurked in parks and public spaces. Today, they reach our children through the devices parents place in their hands. Even when parents think their kids are safe in their home, they are not. Most online enticement begins on social media or on gaming platforms — and could happen right under our noses.
Summer is especially hard for mothers juggling jobs and family life. Many adolescents logged six or seven-plus hours a day online. The reality is that we are surrendering the formative years of childhood to platforms designed for retention and profit. Many online platforms harm children through the lack of security features, exposure to harmful content and algorithmic addiction.
It is time for parents to ask ourselves, “What kind of kids are we raising in a digital world?”
For many concerned mothers like myself, we are worried about the larger picture — the national youth mental health crisis. According to the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on Social Media and Youth Mental Health, children and adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of mental health problems, including experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety.
AI has raised the stakes further. Teens increasingly treat chatbots as therapists or as academic shortcuts that short circuit the hard work of thinking. There is a wide gap between what parents believe their children are doing with AI and how the technology is actually being used. While AI offers personalized learning opportunities, it can also raise data privacy concerns and lead to emotional overreliance on an artificial companion. These platforms expose young users to extreme content and persuasive political or emotional misinformation.
Technology companies, schools, and policymakers all have roles to play in curbing child sex abuse material online and to advance new kids safety legislation. Florida lawmakers have been wrestling with many of these questions, including parental consent and safeguards for minors using AI companion chatbots.
Those debates matter, but parents cannot wait for legislation to act. We must remain the primary filter for our children. An active and attentive parent is the digital equivalent of sitting outside while children are in the swimming pool.
Protecting our children online doesn’t mean we reject technology altogether. Technology presents incredible opportunities, but those opportunities must be balanced against real risks. The goal should be that technology serves childhood, rather than replaces it. These are conversations that other moms and I are having, including through my involvement with The Policy Circle, a nonprofit organization that helps women engage thoughtfully in public policy. Having honest conversations with one another, asking better questions about safety and seeking out credible resources are important first steps toward helping our children develop a healthy relationship with technology.
We are raising children in a digital world but we are most importantly raising future husbands, wives, fathers, mothers and citizens who will need the capacity to remain steady when life is inconvenient and to choose responsibility over endless stimulation. Technology will continue to change, but our responsibilities as parents will not. It is our job to provide boundaries and the guidance our children need to grow into capable adults.
Kierstin Silva is a mother of three and co-chair of the Miami Policy Circle, part of The Policy Circle’s national network of civically engaged women.
