Their mother, *Victoria, had long resisted getting her girls a phone, but eventually decided they needed one for safety reasons given they were frequently walking to and from school by themselves.
The request from her daughters to download Zoomerang came quickly, and Victoria told the Herald she took precautions before giving her girls the green light.
She thought the app was relatively innocuous and consulted other parents.
“They asked if they could have Zoomerang and I talked to some of the other mothers and they had no particular issues as far as they were aware,” she said.
The sisters, aged between 9 and 12 years old, and holding soft toys while speaking to the Herald, said they thought it made sense to add the Australian girl as a friend when they launched their own account.
“I thought it was an 11-year-old girl who just wanted to make some friends and be friends and have someone to talk to if they were bored,” Ivy told the Herald.
We had a lot in common, apparently
Her sister agreed – she didn’t suspect anything untoward.
“We had a lot in common, apparently, and we got along really well and sometimes we even have matching favourite colours,” Amy told the Herald.
What the girls didn’t know was that their “friend” was actually a 36-year-old Wellington man who was busy colluding with other paedophiles to learn ways to exploit their vulnerabilities.
The engaging chat about common interests was all part of a guise – a prelude to extracting child sex abuse material for himself and other like-minded offenders around the world.
Victoria said he spent weeks building up her daughters’ self-esteem, gaining personal information about their school life and their friends, while impressing on the girls the importance of not telling mum.
‘Coached’ by a predator
Victoria says the predator had a “strategy” to gain his daughters’ trust, and it didn’t take long before he encouraged them to download other social media apps, including Discord, Snapchat and the encrypted messaging app Telegram.
The tactics he employed were detailed – she said her daughters were coached on how to set up email accounts to register themselves on various platforms and they were encouraged to keep certain communications to themselves.
“Once he realised that the girls had this connection with what they thought was an 11-year-old, he felt safe to start requesting and sending material, inappropriate material,” she said.
It started with asking for pictures of the girls’ crop tops and escalated to nudity and explicit content.
She said the predator sought advice from other paedophiles to obtain child sex abuse material in a way that wouldn’t be detected.
“He was strategising with peers of a similar age – adults – about how best to get this information covertly,” she said.
Then came the threats.
He would instruct the girls to provide him with explicit content and warned if they didn’t obey, he’d tell their mother or get them blocked from the social media apps he’d helped them join.
Victoria’s daughters told the Herald they both felt bullied, and sometimes scared, but were also worried they’d get into trouble, or deceive their friend, if they let anyone else in on their secret.
Ivy said she thought the request from their Australian friend not to let mum know was “a bit weird”.
“But I am only young, so I didn’t really understand because we hadn’t learned much about cyberbullying and stuff yet, so I didn’t really know what to do,” Ivy said.
Amy was also unsure what to do, and given the threats, she thought it was best to comply.
“I was young and scared, and I didn’t know what to do, so I just followed [what he wanted],” she said.
Victoria said the predator’s instructions to her girls were designed to deceive her or any other adult who sought to oversee their online activity.
She said the girls were told to only show their mother messages where the friendship appeared genuine and harmless. All other communications should be a secret.
When checking who her girls were chatting with, Victoria was led to believe “this person seems safe”.
“This whole time, the parent’s been led to believe that this child [the predator], or this persona is safe, and your child’s safe to continue a conversation,” she said.
‘I was in tears, I was angry’
It was January 15 this year when Victoria received a call from a police officer. It was a conversation she will never forget.
“At first, I thought this is some sick prank by a prank caller,” Victoria said.
Overseas investigators from the National Centre for Exploited and Missing Children had been notified of the offender’s online activity.
They knew he was in New Zealand and had evidence he’d exploited New Zealand children and dozens of others around the world.
Victoria said receiving the news felt like being “hit by a train”.
“[It was] horrendous, heartbreaking, soul destroying,” she said.
Then came the task of telling her daughters what had happened, and who their Aussie “friend” really was.
Given the trusting relationship they had formed over many months, Victoria said her girls initially didn’t believe what the police had claimed.
“They struggled quite a lot to believe that this adult person behind the persona could be this 11-year-old girl that they had been talking to and communicating with,” she said.
Her girls told the Herald they were shocked when they learned their friend was actually a phantom.
“It was shock, a little bit of anger, and a bit of sadness. But mostly shock and mostly disgusted,” Ivy told the Herald.
Amy said she felt angry and upset.
“I was in tears. I was angry and I felt like it was all surprising. I didn’t think it was real,” she said.
A mother and daughters’ message
Victoria and her girls were motivated to talk to the Herald in an effort to warn others of the dangers of social media.
Victoria said she’s been made to feel like a failure as a parent.
That’s despite the fact her girls were introduced to the predator prior to having their own phones, and she was hoodwinked by the man’s tactics while monitoring her girls’ online interactions.
She said parents are often blamed while trying to navigate a plethora of anonymous spaces created by tech giants which allow predators to thrive.
“Although helpful, no amount of parental controls can stop predators from targeting children in these online environments.”
In other cases, she said older siblings or friends help set up apps for children without parents knowing.
“Society does place a lot of blame on the parents. It’s never an intention for a parent to have their child exposed to this kind of behaviour,” she said.
Her advice is to engage in age-appropriate conversations with children and ensure they’re aware of red flags.
She said it was about making children feels confident about raising the alarm.
“It may be explaining that if anybody asks you for an image where you are not dressed, then you need to come and see mum or dad or another trusted adult or teacher,” she said.
She emphasised the importance of making sure children know they won’t get in trouble if they talk to an adult about their online interactions.
“Sit down in a calm and supportive manner and explain what healthy communication looks like online. If they don’t know them, don’t add them [as a friend],” she told the Herald.
Victoria’s daughters wanted their story to be a warning for other children.
“My message for other kids is to stay safe out there and if you notice anything unusual or strange, you should tell a parent,” Ivy told the Herald.
Amy said if you’re chatting to someone who asks for photos or videos you should “block them immediately” and tell an adult.
The nightmare continues
The 36-year-old Wellington man, who has name suppression, has pleaded guilty to charges brought by police, but Victoria says his offending has had a lasting impact.
“My daughters are having nightmares, they don’t easily trust anymore. They’re very cautious about who they communicate with now,” Victoria said.
Speaking generally, she said all online predators need to have a “good hard look in the mirror” and be accountable for the mental anguish they were causing.
“This is on you, this isn’t on their parents, this isn’t on the children. This is on you.”
Victoria said she and her daughters were grateful for the dedicated work of police, and the efforts of staff at sexual harm support group Tautoko Mai.
“I can’t speak highly enough of Tautoko Mai and the support they’ve provided to both my daughters and myself. We wouldn’t have been able to navigate this if it wasn’t for their support,” she said.
*Victoria, Amy and Ivy’s names have been changed to protect their identities.
Michael Morrah is a senior investigative reporter/team leader at the Herald. He won News Journalist of the Year at the 2025 Voyager Media Awards and has twice been named reporter of the year at the NZ Television Awards. He has been a broadcast journalist for 20 years and joined the Herald’s video team in July 2024.
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