This Keystone Cops-ass administration will not stop getting worse.
The FBI, the very same one that brags about investigating “The Cyber Threat,” was just forced to confirm that Iran-linked hackers broke into the personal email of the dorkishly incompetent FBI director, Kash Patel
Honestly, the pictures are pretty much what you would expect: Patel with cigars, Patel with rum, Patel looking at himself in the mirror. Somehow, you just knew that Patel would be a weird sniffy guy about cigars.
Oh, yeah. Cuban cigars. In Cuba. Kash seems to have absolutely loved his trip to Cuba.
That’s a little awkward, given that Patel is a high-ranking official in the administration that is blockading Cuba, which President Donald Trump says he will be “having the honor of taking.”
There are also plenty of pictures of him playing hockey, but none probably top when he got to be a Very Special Boy and hang out with the U.S. men’s hockey team at the Winter Olympics.
CNN talked to a cybersecurity researcher who downplayed the hack’s severity, emphasizing that this wasn’t a breach of locked-down FBI systems but of Patel’s separate personal material.
Sure, whatever. Let’s try to imagine the cool calm reaction of conservatives if, say, former FBI Director Christopher Wray’s phone had been hacked, and the response was “Relax, it’s only his personal email. Nbd.”
Now imagine if the group taking credit for the hack was a pro-Iranian, pro-Palestinian one. While the U.S. is at war with Iran. And that the hack was in retaliation for the United States bombing of a school full of Iranian children.
With today’s FBI, however, you really need to just chill, man. Here’s an agency spokesperson: “The information in question is historical in nature and involves no government information.”
That seems unwarrantedly confident from a spokesperson for the government of Signalgate and ICEgate. Also, it’s pretty bold to assume that arguably the dumbest guy in Trump’s Cabinet has not screwed up his infosec elsewhere.
Looks like Patel is going to have to figure out how to use two-factor authentication or something. But how will he ever fit it in between taking his private FBI jet to sporting events, hanging with his girlfriend while she pretends to be a country singer, or screwing up major investigations?
The hacking group has promised more to come, and numerous photos are already floating around the internet.
You know full well that these emails and photos will be released in a steady drip, drip, drip. You just know that Kash has a ton of selfies modeling his clothing line, but we have to keep in mind that Patel absolutely seems like the kind of guy who has also the grodiest nudes of himself, and we all have to steel ourselves for the jump scare of seeing that on Al Gore’s internet.
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