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Editor’s Note: Some names have been changed in this story for privacy reasons.
(ABC 6 News) – For anyone with or around children and teens, cyberbullying is likely an issue they hear about more and more these days, but while many stories about it that make the news end in the worst way one local family is thankful their story didn’t.
Riley Volkman is a 12-year-old boy from Mower County who normally enjoys art, video games, and spending time with his family.
Then, on his birthday, he got a message on Snapchat.
“He started texting me about how she said she wanted me to k-y-s,” Riley says. “Which we’re thinking means for kill yourself.”
The messages came from Mark, a boy Riley met through Sarah, a girl he knows.
In the messages, Mark claims Sarah told him what she thought about Riley, but when Riley confronted her, Sarah said Mark was lying.
Still, it left Riley feeling confused and hurt.
“I didn’t really feel good at all, and I just wanted to hide away under my blankets,” he says.
Riley’s story is not unique.
In a 2023 study of roughly 2,600 students aged 13-17, five in 10 reported have been cyberbullied.
“Cyber bullying tends to be more relational. It tends to be more about hurting feelings, saying mean words, things like that,” says Dr. Jonathon Singer, a professor of social work at Loyola University Chicago. “Middle school is a prime time for bullying and cyber bullying.”
What is unique about Riley’s story though is that it ended before it could begin.
Right after getting the messages, Riley went to his mom, Angel Arndorfer, who immediately jumped on getting the school and the parents of Mark and Sarah involved.
“I know he’s a strong kid and he’ll get through this, but, you know, there’s plenty of other kids that don’t get through this,” says Arndorfer. “And my heart spoke to their moms.”
Arndorfer also learned Riley wasn’t the only one on the receiving end of these messages.
Sarah had also gotten similar messages from Mark, and Mark himself was experiencing bullying completely separate from this incident.
Singer says because of how early this was caught, it thankfully makes this story less about cyberbullying and more about prevention.
“Bullying and cyberbullying is not a one off event. It is something that happens over and over and over again,” he says. “This is almost, an ideal bad situation, right? Ideal in the sense that the, the messages were sent and received in fairly short order. The kid, went to his parent, who responded supportively.”
In cases where that doesn’t happen though, Singer says parents or anyone who works around kids with access to technology can look out for key patterns that signal they might be being bullied like dramatic changes in behavior.
He also says adults should encourage kids to come to them if they ever feel uncomfortable with something happening to them or their friends.
Now, Riley hopes by sharing his experience he can help someone else find the bravery to say something before it’s too late.
“I think people should definitely speak up about it,” he says, “because no matter how big or how small your voice is, it can always be heard.”
Check out the full interview with Dr. Singer below:
