Rachel Bilson helped define early-2000s style as Summer Roberts, the teenager whose comebacks we wished we’d thought of and whose relationship with Seth Cohen had us all invested. Now, she’s raising an almost-teenager of her own — and setting some ground rules.Social media? “You can get Instagram at 35,” she jokes to daughter Briar Rose, who turns 12 today. The birthday milestones may be coming faster than Bilson would like, but access to the apps can wait.For someone whose job involves being seen, Bilson has managed to keep much of her everyday life outside the frame. She’s clear about what she wants to preserve for Briar, whom she shares with her ex, actor Hayden Christensen: the freedom to grow up without everything that comes with her parents’ visibility.”Childhood is the most precious thing that you want to protect at all costs,” she tells me for Yahoo’s Unapologetically.That doesn’t mean keeping her daughter in a bubble. As Briar gets older, Bilson is loosening the reins, just with limits. “I’m a believer in giving them enough but having boundaries around it,” she says.When I ask what’s surprised her most about how life has unfolded since she was a fixture on our TV screens in the early aughts, she doesn’t reach for a career milestone: It’s her daughter, whom she calls “my little bestie.”Bilson sounds thoroughly pleased with the life she’s built, including how little of it requires an audience. At 45, a quiet night at home is an evening she looks forward to.”I love feeling like I am already 80 years old,” she says. “I’ve got my knitting and my nightgowns and my cozy socks, and I am so happy about all of it.”A project can still persuade her to leave that comfortable routine. In Christmas at the Kringles, in theaters Oct. 30, Bilson plays a mother whose family’s fresh start takes a sinister turn when their Christmas-obsessed neighbors reveal intentions far beyond spreading holiday cheer. Director Kevin Lewis and a cast including Ron Livingston and Rob Riggle, she says, helped make the decision to join the horror comedy an easy one.Below, Bilson talks about building a life outside of the spotlight, loving her 40s and whether she’d return to The O.C. (Because some of us still have a very personal interest in how Summer and Seth would have turned out.)You’ve been more selective about acting projects in recent years. What makes something feel worth saying yes to now, and what was it about ‘Christmas at the Kringles’?It’s definitely changed a lot. Mostly, they’re all nos. But I know Kevin Lewis, the director, and actors Ron Livingston and Rob Riggle. I was like, I don’t even have to read the script. This is already coming together in the most amazing way.The fact that it was Christmas, horror, comedy — it just sounded like a good time. Then the whole cast came together, and honestly, it was the best time I’ve ever had on a set. So much fun. I have not laughed harder on any project.Between Chrismukkah on ‘The O.C.’ and now combining horror and Christmas, we’ll have to come up with a name for this.I’ll ask Josh [Schwartz, creator of The O.C.]!This movie takes a parent’s instinct that something isn’t right to an extreme. Since becoming a mom, have you gotten better at trusting your gut, even when it means speaking up or making things uncomfortable?You know what’s so funny? I’m a people pleaser by nature. But when it comes to my daughter, I am absolutely everything I wish I could be for myself and more. For her, I have no problem standing up to anything — conflict, setting boundaries and being [straightforward].It’s crazy when it comes to her. But myself, I’m still a full-on people pleaser. It’s just this different thing. Something flips in your brain, and you’re like, nope, I’m here to protect this.Your character talks about watching life pass her by in a job she hates, feeling like her husband doesn’t care. We all have ideas when we’re younger about how life will unfold. What’s been the best surprise about how yours has unfolded?Honestly, and this might sound so cliché, but really having my daughter. We have such a cool thing, her and I. My little best friend.I get to show her movies that I love, and we’re watching all the romantic comedies. She’s not going to watch this yet. She doesn’t really like blood. She did come to set with me one day. I let her miss school one day and just come be with me at work, and she had the best time. It was just so cool to have her there with me, and it wasn’t any of the crazy stuff.But yeah, just being a mom and seeing how cool it is, and the kid that I got, and how lucky I feel. She’s my little bestie. It’s just really, really awesome.What romantic comedies are you watching together?She loved 27 Dresses, which is such a fun one. But I’m like, “Oh my gosh, we should watch My Best Friend’s Wedding,” because I always loved that movie.We’re watching it, and I didn’t rewatch it first. There’s a part where Julia Roberts is saying [why] Rupert [Everett], who plays her best friend, comes, and what she says is not appropriate for a child.I look at her, and I was like, she probably doesn’t know what that means. I’m just going to roll with it. She doesn’t seem too curious. But, oh crap, I really should have checked that first. She’s old enough to know things, but also things still can go over her head. It’s been really fun.The movie also taps into something relatable for parents: figuring out who gets to influence your kid. How do you balance protecting your daughter with giving her more independence?I think it’s really important to teach kids to give them tools early. They’ll deal with a lot of friendship stuff, and telling them, “Maybe that’s not kind behavior.” If you relate it to behavior instead of the person, I think it helps them kind of understand that it might just be a way they’re behaving. It doesn’t target an actual person and their personality.We’ve been talking very early on, because with girls, I think it can happen early, just things that come up. For us, it’s constantly putting that in her mind, recognizing it and saying, “You don’t have to be friends with these people. You can also remove yourself, and you can find other people to hang out with.”That’s been one throughline for us that I think has been helpful, so she doesn’t personalize it, which is also important, because everyone can do that.You spent so much of your 20s in the public eye. These days, you seem to have found a way to live a more normal life in L.A. and choose when and where you’re public. How much of that was a conscious choice?For me, childhood is the most precious thing that you want to protect at all costs. She’s in sixth grade now. She’s just starting to kind of have her iPad — it was only for airplanes for so long. You kind of loosen the reins, but I just don’t want all of that exposure to all of the things.We live a little bit removed from it, and it was just so important to me, and continues to be so important to me, that she has a normal childhood.There are perks that come along with [our jobs]. She sees her parents do things, and she’ll be at events or whatever it may be, so obviously there’s an understanding and an idea. But keeping her just being a kid, that’s the main, most important thing.There’s no social media. I told her, “You can get Instagram at 35.” I always mess around with her. But social media is a hard no.I tell her whenever she gets a phone, it’ll be a dumb phone. No apps, no anything. I’m so hardcore about it.I’ve loosened up a little. You don’t want to be the parent that’s like, absolutely no sugar, and then all they want is sugar, for example. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but just for me personally, I’m a believer in giving them enough but having boundaries around it.Earlier this year, you talked about how cool it is getting older as a woman and feeling good about who you are. There are so many messages about aging: ‘Age gracefully,’ do this, don’t do that. What does getting older on your own terms feel like?Honestly, I love it. I love going to bed at 9 o’clock. I love feeling like I am already 80 years old. I’ve got my knitting and my nightgowns and my cozy socks, and I am so happy about all of it.I don’t feel the need to go anywhere. I can be with my kid. We can watch our shows together, be present at all of the school things, all of our sports, all of our extracurriculars. That’s the most important thing in the world.Just feeling so comfortable doing that, I think that’s the best part for me, being in my 40s. No question.Hollywood loves revisiting a familiar world. Would you be up for returning to ‘The O.C.’ in any capacity?Yes, of course! Josh Schwartz is basically like my brother, and I had such an amazing experience. That was such a cool time. I love everybody, and I would always say yes to whatever it may be.It’s kind of a hard thing, because you’re like, it was so special, and how do you recreate that? Would it be the same thing? But my answer is I would always say yes.Where do you think Summer Roberts would be right now?Oh gosh, I have no memory. It’s so funny. I did The O.C. podcast, and as I’m watching it, everything was new to me. I’m like, “Oh my God, that happened?”She marries Seth. Obviously, they get married, they have a family. Summer’s probably a lawyer. She’s good at arguing.Their kids would even be grown up by now, so it’s this crazy thing to think about. But it would be cool to see their kids maybe in high school, because they were that age when the show started. That would be fun.This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.
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