Seeing your kid get picked on by a friend or classmate is never easy. In fact, one of the toughest parts of raising teens and tweens just may be helping them navigate disagreements, name-calling, and bullying as they grow up. Sometimes, it seems like the best thing we can do is tell our kids to ignore the teasing, find a new friend group, or try not to let arguments with friends bother them, but we all know those things are easier said than done.
Now a dad on Reddit is asking his fellow parents if he’s in the wrong for the way he handled a recent cyberbullying incident that occurred with his daughter.
“My daughter’s friend was ‘pranking’ her via messenger throughout the summer, calling her a b—h and saying no one likes her, blocking her for no reason. Recently she called my daughter a ‘big back,’” u/MaybeMiddle6980 wrote in the r/AITA (Am I the A– Hole?) subreddit, referencing derogatory “fat” slang. “Enough was enough. I sent her a message via my daughter’s messenger saying, ‘Hey ––– this is –––’s dad. This isn’t the first time (insulting my daughter) but is it the last. I sincerely hope you stop finding the need to bully others.’ I let my daughter read it. She pushed send and felt genuinely good that I had helped her learn she doesn’t need to tolerate anyone, let alone a friend behaving this way towards her.”
That’s when the situation became tricky. “A few hours later,” the Redditor wrote, “the mother messages my wife saying the interaction was inappropriate and inexcusable, that her daughter did nothing to warrant it, and how dare I question her moral character. That we should have messaged the parents about it. In her response she claims her daughter did nothing wrong, which just tells me it never would have been addressed. Now I’m second guessing my approach. AITA for confronting her bully?”
It’s a good question, especially since most parents have given some thought to reaching out to kids who pick on their own children to tell them to stop. But is it OK to actually do it? Reddit seems to think so.
“Seriously in what kind of parallel universe would this be inappropriate?” one Redditor wrote. “When I first read the caption, I thought you confronted the bully more aggressively, but this was absolutely polite. No wonder the bully is such a sh—-y person. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Imagine how bad of a parent someone has to be to excuse this kind of behavior coming from their child.”
“This is the reason we have so many children commit suicide from bullying — their parents think there’s nothing wrong with it.” said another. “You absolutely did the right thing.”
Others suggested the dad’s first contact should have been the child’s parents, rather than messaging the friend directly. More suggested taking screen shots of the bullying conversations and taking them to the police and/or the school, filing a cyberbullying complaint.
Judging by the responses on the post, most parents agree that it’s 100% OK for a parent to take action to protect their kid from bullying behavior before it becomes a bigger issue.
