NORTHEAST ARKANSAS (KAIT) — As Valentine’s Day approaches, a podcaster is warning others about romance scammers after her mother lost more than $200,000 to online dating fraud.
April Helm’s 72-year-old mother met a man on the Plenty of Fish dating app, who turned out to be a scammer. Over several months, her mother sent the fraudster hundreds of thousands of dollars.
“Her emotions were so involved and wrapped up in this man,” Helm said. “She became addicted to the attention.”
The financial loss was devastating. Helm’s mother lost her apartment and car, leaving her without a place to live.
Helm suspected something was wrong from the beginning.
“She sent me a photo of a man who was about 40 years younger than her, and she was giddy,” Helm said. “I knew that something was up because the man was just too young.”
When she performed a reverse image search on the scammer’s profile picture, Helm discovered the photo was fake and commonly used by scammers. She told her mother about her findings.
“And she literally goes, ’ Don’t burst my bubble.’ She didn’t want to hear anything about this guy being fake,” Helm said.
Helm’s mother was battling ovarian cancer at the time and was 72 years old. Any negative conversation about the scammer led to arguments between the mother and daughter.
“I didn’t know how long she was going to be with me. So I kept going back and forth on whether to do tough love or just love her until her death,” Helm said.
When Helm tried to research romance scams, she found limited helpful information online. She started the Scammer Stories Podcast to educate others and create a platform for scam survivors.
Helm also joined Advocating Against Romance Scammers, a national group working with advocates worldwide to fight the issue.
“In the United States, we’re not doing a lot,” Helm said.
She’s even testified before Congress on behalf of her advocacy group.
One of the most common questions Helm receives is how to get family members to stop talking to scammers.
“That’s the worst question to get, because what people don’t realize is these victims or survivors, however you want to refer to them, they become addicted to the scammers, so much so, that they are willing to terminate relationships with their family members,” Helm said.
She emphasizes the importance of early education before the scam starts.
Warning signs to watch for
Helm identifies the biggest signs of romance scammers:
- They profess love early on
- They mirror thoughts and feelings
- They ask for money regardless of the reason
“The problem is, by the time they ask a victim or a survivor for money, they’ve already got their emotions wrapped up with this person and they can’t say no,” Helm said.
Mother’s death
Helm believes she would have had more time with her mother if she hadn’t been involved with the scammer who appealed to her desire for affection.
“So one night in the middle of the night, she rolled out of bed. And that’s how she died,” Helm said. “My aunt walked in and found her on the floor because she’d been up all night talking to that scammer.”
Underreported problem
Many romance scam victims don’t report the crimes due to embarrassment.
Helm says romance scams can happen to anyone of any age or circumstance. She believes it will take a combination of banking industry changes, FBI jurisdiction expansion, and social media platform modifications to effectively combat romance scammers.
Additional red flags from the AARP include receiving “wrong number” texts, the person wanting direct phone contact, living far away, maintaining constant contact, and making plans to meet but never following through.
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