The conversation about screens and kids has shifted — it’s not just about how much time they spend, but what they’re doing and how parents can help.
CLEVELAND — Every parent has wondered it: how much damage is all that screen time really doing to my kid? The answer, according to a leading adolescent medicine specialist, is more nuanced than you might think — and more actionable.
A new survey from the Pew Research Center found that teens turn to TikTok and Instagram for news, entertainment and keeping up with celebrities — while leaning on Snapchat for direct messaging and socializing with friends. And teens say connection is their biggest positive takeaway from using these platforms — finding people who share their interests and staying close to family and friends.
But the same survey finds that roughly three-quarters of teens say online harassment and bullying are problems for people their age. Most parents, meanwhile, say social media hurts rather than helps their teens’ sleep, productivity, and mental health. Parents are also more likely than teens themselves to say their child spends too much time on these apps.
The good news: 85% of parents say they are already having conversations with their teens about social media use.
According to Dr. Scott Hadland, Chief of Adolescent Medicine at Mass General Brigham, the science has moved beyond a simple “screens are bad” verdict. While research does show that prolonged screen exposure can interfere with development and contribute to anxiety and other conditions, screens also have benefits — serving as learning tools and even spaces where young people build communities and find connection.
“This is not a black or white issue,” Dr. Hadland said. “There’s a lot of nuance here.”
It’s Not the Screen — It’s What They’re Doing With It
Dr. Hadland said the more important question isn’t how long a teen is staring at a screen, but what they’re doing on it. A young person deeply engaged in intense video games, for example, may be at risk for developing a behavioral addiction. Social media presents its own set of concerns — particularly when accessed privately, such as in the isolation of a bedroom, where less visible and more concerning behaviors can occur.
On the question of gender, Dr. Hadland cautions against stereotypes. Body image concerns fueled by social media affect boys and girls alike, he said. And video game addiction, often thought of as a predominantly male issue, shows up across genders in his own practice.
When it comes to the right age for social media, Dr. Hadland’s position is clear: the later, the better. He said that starting to use social media at a younger age is linked to worse mental health outcomes, and ideally, teens wouldn’t be joining platforms until late adolescence — or even after high school. While that may sound dramatic to some families, he stands behind the recommendation.
Your Kid Already Has a Phone. Now What?
Dr. Hadland acknowledges the reality that many families are already living: the phone is in the house, the social media accounts are already created, and taking it all away isn’t a realistic or necessarily helpful solution.
His first piece of advice to parents is to approach the conversation with curiosity, not confrontation. Ask your teen what they’re actually seeing online. Ask whether they’ve experienced or witnessed bullying. Ask how certain posts make them feel. The goal is to open a dialogue that helps young people reflect on their own digital experiences.
Beyond conversation, Dr. Hadland recommends structural boundaries over reactive ones. That means establishing clear rules: no phones at the dinner table, and devices charged outside the bedroom at night. Sleep protection, he said, may be the single most important thing parents can do for their teens’ overall well-being.
He also encourages parents to model the behavior they want to see. “I’ve got two young kids,” he said. “I try to remember that they’re looking at me and watching what I’m doing with my device.”
Warning Signs to Watch For
Parents should be alert to any meaningful change in how their teen is functioning. Dr. Hadland points to several red flags: difficulty putting the phone down, increased withdrawal, slipping grades, strained friendships, and loss of interest in activities they used to care about. For teens who may be struggling with depression connected to cyberbullying, look for persistent low mood and social withdrawal. For those dealing with body image concerns, watch for changes in eating or exercise behaviors.
The most important takeaway, Dr. Hadland said, is that parents don’t have to navigate this alone. Conversations about screens and social media are now a routine part of pediatric care.
“Any time you’ve got a concern, bring it to your pediatrician,” he said. “Whether it’s a big one or a small one. We would love to be able to intervene on small ones before they become big ones.”
